Someone get Luis Vizcaino a stiff drink. Now!! 

“Cuff ‘Em” is a daily look at who’s in trouble with the law. It’s our hope to limit this to 5 sports-related morons, but it can be modified at our discretion or if there is a sudden outbreak of superior stupidity.

• A teen Eastern Arizona College football player doesn’t really care for of his teammates and has something for him – like a wall slam and some choking. Dude who was attacked had three jaw fractures, says his mom. Police, of course, are investigating this teammate on teammate violence.
• Normally we’d call a guy who has to get a restraining order against another dude a pussy but in this case we’re holding back our judgment. The guy was actually afraid a Winona State football player would jump him and his family. That sounds serious.

• A MLB baseball player gets a DUI. What’s new?
• This WVU football player has trouble staying away from handcuffs, police.
• And we end this mess with one of our favorite stories of the week. These high school coaches attended a football game and tried to drink beer while sitting in the press box.