Watch an old woman make food – today Noon EST 

Not a basketball fan? Forgot to attach your nuts at birth? Feeling kinda feminine today?

How about some TV viewing options to help you avoid the world’s greatest all-day television spectacle. We’ll be at the bar later. Enjoy your episode of Crossing Jordan while we’re slamming beers and bowing to our Gus Johnson shrine.

What To Watch -Other Than NCAA Basketball (all times EST)

12 p.m. Spike – Disorderly Conduct: Video on Patrol

12 p.m. CNBC – Power Lunch 

12 p.m. Food Network – Barefoot Contessa 

1 p.m. Animal Planet – It’s Me Or The Dog 

1 p.m. Bravo – Make Me A Supermodel 

1 p.m. E! – It’s So Over: 50 Biggest Celebrity Break-Ups 

8 p.m. ESPN – Figure Skating 

8 p.m. E! – Byte Me: 20 Hottest Women on the Web 

9 p.m. NBC – Celebrity Apprentice